Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Things I Did In The 80's That I Would Never Do Now

In early 1984 my Father passed away. Cancer took his life. My Dad was a person that I feared. It's not like the guy beat me or anything, but he was a guy that I knew better than to cross. The man could give me dirty looks that would make me cower in fear. All of the kids in my neighborhood that played outside in my yard would bail leaving toys spinning in the yard when he got home from work. The guy wasn't mean. He just had this look and vibe about him. Plus he was mostly quiet, and rarely smiled. You're probably thinking what in the hell does any of this have to do with things you did in the 80's, but would never do now? After my Dad passed away it was like a whole new world for me. I was angry and pissed off at the world. It was just me and my mom now. We were left behind, and I had a whole new lease on life. Can you say rebellion? With no scary dad around I went wild. Grwoing up there were kids who bragged about wild things they had done. 99% of them couldn't hold a candle to the shit I did. Here are just a few things that I did growing up in the 80's that I wouldn't do now.

At a school that I won't name they used to park a large row of busses outside. Me and some friends slashed a whole lot of bus tires as well as pretty much every seat in every bus in that row.

By the 7th grade I was smoking quite a bit of weed, and drinking pretty much any type of alcohol I could get my hands on. I don't do either now. Oh, I was also smoking about a pack of Marlboro Reds a day at the age of 11. I kid you not. I quit by the age of 19 due to sinus issues. On top of all of that I also used to chew tobacco and smoke cigars.

Mooning. For some reason me and my friends thoght it was cool/funny to show everyone our butts. One night me and a friend decided to moon cars coming up the street. Then we would run into the woods. We ended up mooning a cop. He flashed his lights. We ran like hell into the woods.

Pyromania. If it was flamable I'd light it on fire. Me and a friend set the woods on fire once and almost couldn't put it out. We also used to take old newspapers that people would leave in the their yard or paper boxes and light them on fire at night in the middle of the road.

Pool Hopping. In our neighborhood it seemed like most houses had a pool. Late at night during the summer of 1988 me and a friend made it our mission to jump in every pool in the neighborhood. It was a lot of fence jumping, but damn was it fun.

Snowballing cars. I lived by a really busy street. Cars would be driving 55-65 mph down that street. One night me and some friends decided it would be a great idea to throw snowballs at these cars. We hid behind a wall of bushes and just kept nailing cars. Finally one guy turned around a chased us. We ran through a trailer park finally losing the guy.

Theft. I can't even tell you how many car stereo's I stole in the 80's as well as various other objects.

Jail. I went to jail for disturbing the peace on Halloween of 1989 at the age of 17. It was the only time I have ever been in jail.

I'm sure you can guess that I skipped many many days of school. I even had a cop bring me back to school when I was in the 9th grade.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I've done a lot of other things that I'm definitely not proud of. I've already told a bit too much, but it gives you an idea of how juvenile I was. I wouldn't think of doing any of that today. I'd severely beat my daughter if she did any of this.

I blame it all on the Heavy Metal. Yeah, that's it! It ruined my mind! NOT!

An appropriate video.


Sacrilegium said...

You forgot to list "suck dick for crack."

Robert said...

I'm pleading the 5th on that one.


I was such a little bastard in my teens. No guidance whatsoever, and a mother who gave up on me. I'm a better parent than my mom ever was.

Phil said...

Yer the one that stole my speakers you prick!

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Kalamazoo, Michigan, United States
I'm 38. I'm addicted to Xbox 360 gaming and Dallas Stars hockey. I make a decent living at a boring job where I run two autoclaves and do various other tasks. My escape from this boring as hell life is video games, hockey, and music. I generally listen to Metal music, but I also love 80's tunes as well as 70's tunes. I have an unusual love for the band Overkill. They do it for me for some reason. Blitz is GOD!

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